


Happy Surprises

by brilligspoons



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Gen, Kittens, Puppies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 11:06:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1385320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilligspoons/pseuds/brilligspoons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eponine is used to Cosette's "surprises" by now, but she has to admit, bringing eight abandoned kittens home kind of takes the cake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Surprises

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even sorry.

Eponine knows something is terribly, terribly wrong when Cosette's usual _hi, I'm on my way home <3_ text arrives twenty minutes late and _I have a surprise for you!_ is tacked onto the end of it.

Cosette's surprises tend to be minorly catastrophic, no matter how well-meaning they are, so Eponine excuses herself the blind panic that overtakes her when she reads the text. Once, about six months after they started living together, she brought home a Persian rug from a flea market that was infested with _actual fleas_ , and the landlord had to fumigate their apartment three times before it was safe to move back into the place. Not too long after that, they discovered the hard way that they'd somehow mislabeled their salt and sugar containers when Cosette made a "sorry about the fleas" cake for her.

And, of course, nothing quite tops the time Cosette surprised Eponine with bondage, but they both swore never to bring that up ever again.

So when the front door of their apartment opens and Cosette's cheery "hello, I'm home!" rings out, Eponine stays right where she is and attempts to steel herself for whatever it is she's brought home this time. Marius, their six-month-old chocolate Labrador, immediately abandons her, racing out from under Eponine's desk to scramble down the hallway. She sighs and looks over to where Enjolras, their British Longhair, is lounging in the last patch of afternoon sunlight filtering in through the window.

"Dogs, am I right?" she says. Enjolras flicks his tail at her. "I knew you'd agree with me."

"Ep, come out here for a minute, will you?" Cosette calls. "I have something to show you."

Eponine closes her laptop and wanders down the hall. The feeling of dread only grows when she emerges into the living room to find her girlfriend gently nudging Marius away from a large cardboard box. She looks down at it with suspicion and is about to inquire as to what yard sale garbage she's brought home this time when something in the box _mews_.

"No," she says.

Cosette looks up and gives Eponine her brightest, most winning smile. "Don't make any judgments until you've seen them -"

" _Them_?" She stalks over to the box and opens the top flaps, and then she counts.

Eight kittens. There are _eight kittens_ in the box. Eponine stares at them, not entirely sure if she's actually seeing this or if her mind's finally given up the ghost.

Cosette clears her throat. "They were abandoned in the alley next to the cafe, and I couldn't just leave them there," she says as she takes out the first one, a fuzzy steel grey thing with a white chin. "This is Combeferre -"

Eponine covers her face with both her hands. She feels slightly faint. "Of course you've already named them. Of course you have."

"Well, we can't just call them _the kittens_ forever, you know."

Eponine just sighs and accepts the next kitten out of the box when Cosette hands it to her.

***

She makes a deal with Cosette: she's allowed to keep the kittens for a week, get all their shots and other medical procedures done, and then she has to start pawning them off on other people. None of them can stay longer than a month. She's not allowed to buy personalized collars for them, and they definitely aren't allowed in their bedroom.

"There's barely enough space in the apartment for us, Marius, and Enjolras," Eponine says when it becomes clear Cosette isn't going to stop sulking over these conditions anytime soon, "and Marius is only going to get bigger. Nine cats is way too many."

"They're so _little_ , though," says Cosette. "And Enjolras is making friends with all of them, see? He'll be so lonely if we give them away."

Eponine would refute the 'making friends with all of them' part of that statement, but she's already reached her monthly quota for making Cosette sad, so she doesn't say anything. Mostly Enjolras appears to be tolerating the new intruders, admittedly some more than others, but if the hissing whenever the little mottled one Cosette named Grantaire walks by Enjolras' hiding place is any indication, the tentative peace will not last very long at all. Their cat has a tendency to shred anything and everything he can when he's mad, and Eponine doesn't think their bank account can handle yet another new sofa if this goes south.

"Just...take them to the vet, make sure they're healthy, and then we'll match them with good families, okay?" Eponine draws Cosette into a loose hug and kisses the tip of her nose. "Maybe we can keep one or two of them. Maybe."

"Maybe," Cosette repeats. She smiles ( _finally_ ) and kisses Eponine breathless.

***

Clearly they need to work on their communication skills (again, but Eponine is absolutely not letting Cosette's dad help them work through it this time, she still has trouble looking him in the eye) because a month passes them by and there are still eight more cats in their apartment than there should be.

Their vacuum stops working after the second week, though Eponine is willing to admit it was already on the fritz and also Enjolras sheds like a motherfucker, and by the start of week five each kitten is sporting a stylish new collar around its neck. The last straw comes around the two-month mark when she stumbles into the kitchen early one morning and trips over a row of food and water bowls, causing a small wave of water to wash kitten food all over the floor and under the counters. Two of the kittens (she's almost positive it's Jehan and Courfeyrac, but she's resisted learning which one is which thus far and can't be entirely sure without checking their tags) choose that exact moment to chase each other into the kitchen and through the puddle. They stop to bite at some of the soaked food before racing back off into the living room where Cosette set up a nest of blankets for them.

Eponine stands there, feet wet and still mostly asleep, and sighs heavily.

***

After that, Eponine quietly concedes defeat and doesn't mention giving the kittens away in front of Cosette again. She still thinks about it a lot, especially when she catches Enjolras using their bed as a litterbox (which he never did before, even as a kitten, so clearly he's upset about _something_ ), but she can't deny the fact that the sight of Cosette teasing Bahorel and Feuilly with their feather toy, or cuddling with Marius and Courfeyrac and Bossuet together, makes her heart melt just a little bit. Cosette would eventually forgive her for getting rid of them, but Eponine much prefers the incandescent happiness on her face whenever she's playing with their animals to anything else.

Plus, she's learned their names now - there's really no going back.

They sequester Enjolras in their bedroom and start introducing a few of the kittens at a time into the space until he's used to them. He hides under the bed the first time but can't seem to resist the sight of Feuilly and Combeferre chasing a ball filled with catnip around the room and ends up teaching them how to bat it between the three of them. Bahorel, Bossuet, and Joly content themselves with piling on top of him and cuddling, and he takes Courfeyrac and Jehan under his metaphorical wing the same way he did with the first two. Eponine eventually declares Enjolras fit for polite company again once he goes an entire week without shredding their pillow cases.

The only kitten he doesn't seem to get used to no matter what they do is Grantaire.

"It's so odd," Cosette mumbles into Eponine's shoulder one night as they're catching up on their shows. "Grantaire gets along perfectly with the other kittens, but Enjolras starts hissing any time Grantaire gets within five feet of him."

"As long as they aren't violent with each other, I think it'll be fine," says Eponine. She's practically asleep on the couch, eyes closed and comfortable with Enjolras purring in her lap and Cosette snuggled into her side. She can't even remember which show they have on, but even though she knows that's probably a sign she should give up and actually go to bed, she can't be fucked to move at all.

Something mews in her ear. Eponine cracks one eye open to find Grantaire gingerly crawling onto her shoulder. He rubs his head on her neck and curls up, tail tucked under his little body, and mews again. Enjolras stops purring and picks his head up from her lap at the second sound. Eponine tenses, ready to shove both cats off her if ( _when_ ) this turns ugly, but Enjolras closes his eyes and yawns wide, showing off his sharp front teeth, before settling back down again. Grantaire rubs his head against Eponine once more and promptly falls asleep.

"Yeah," she says, "I think everything's going to be okay."

***

Eponine walks into the kitchen the next morning to find Enjolras aggressively grooming Grantaire and the rest of the kittens and Marius curled up in a circle around them.

"Alright then," she says. "That's what we're doing now, is it."

Enjolras looks up at her and mews once before going back to his task. She smiles and snaps a picture on her phone, and then retreats back to the bedroom to wake Cosette up with the happy news.


End file.
